I just want to say that in my opinion all of us men (and some women)
need a lot of
'civilizing' in terms of controlling our sexual and violent urges; and
women, or any victim of sexual violence are often a savior to us and
society in that respect. I'm guilty of sexual
wrong doings. As a young man (but in my 20s) I gave in to bad urges to
inappropriately touch or 'speak sexually' to women I didn't even know. I
am very very thankful that in one such incident (30 years ago) in an
Atlanta department
store, where I made an inappropriate comment to a young woman, that she
immediately went outside and found a policeman and 'told on me'. It was
the first time I'd ever been reported to an authority for this rotten
behavior I'd occasionally exhibited since 8th grade. I'll
never forget the moment I left that store and a tall big AfrAmerican
Policeman walked up to me and told me about the woman's complaint and
calmly, but sternly lectured me about how wrong my lewd remark had been
and how much trouble I could face if I continued that behavior. It was
an epiphany for me...a light bulb really went off in my head. For a year
or more after that I gave thanks every night in my prayers for the
woman who had spoken out against me and for the fact that I had heard
and learned from a strong authority before I might have done something
worse to an innocent woman and also ruined my life in the process. It's
been 30 years since that fateful moment and I have never, at all,
exhibited such wrong behavior since. I had been a rude sleazy dog on a
few occasions from Jr. High to that moment, but never since.
No
victim of any crime deserves blame, but the fact is that even victims
of crimes are morally obligated to speak out against them for their own
good and the good of society. The woman who reported me saved other
women from my potential future heinous actions and saved me from the
consequences of continuing on that way. Maybe it's Karma, but a few
years ago I found myself in a situation where a giant pit-bull mix dog
belonging to a new neighbor escaped containment and cornered me in my
own back yard. It wanted to kill me and could have. After that I took
measures to protect myself from the animal, but I felt obligated to
report the incident (and a few more) to city officials, mostly out of
worry about what this dog might do to an unsuspecting child or jogger in
the neighborhood. I was ridiculed and harassed by the dogs owners and
city officials, but I eventually convinced them that the dog had to be
moved to a more controlled safer environment. I took a lot of grief and
it took a long time, but I'm sure that action on my part saved a tragedy
of some kind. Just as the woman who had reported me saved a future
victim and me from my ugly urges.
I
guess what I'm saying is that we as a society are in this together and
while no woman or man deserves bad treatment from each other, we are all
obligated to speak out against crimes when they occur. If you did indeed do some terrible
things to some women, it is still the case that it would have been
better for them and future victims and for you, if they had spoken out at
the time. And it is not right for people to put others in danger out of
convenient silence and then pile up the debts of a lifetime and dump
them out to the public years after a time when they could have made a
real difference for all involved.
God bless us all and I pray that we learn from our tragic mistakes.
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